How to have the 2nd* best weekend ever

The prizes aren't very "social".

Okay, there are a lot of things which are worse than being pressed against a wall at 2 am in a club in Paris and dance with that "kinda cute" guy to this blurb of electronic music while you reduce your thoughts on "Man, it's hot in here", "kiss me again, you idiot!" or "My top is too wide, can they see my boobs?" until you finally arrive at: "I just need another drink". 


Well, that pretty much sums up my Saturday night. But let's don't go ahead of the time, the weekend starts with FRIDAY.

Who doesn't?
Especially when you think of Rebecca Black.

We went to this bowling bar in a branch road of "Rue Oberkampf" a street which is famous for clubbing and bars. It was not very crowded and we went for a pool round or two. The girls were already playing when I arrived (I had a little misunderstanding on the phone with "rue de Nemours" instead of "rue st maur"). We played a while (of course every team I was in lost - because of my failure) and then they pointed out to me there was this guy at the next pool table who looked exactly like Pete Doherty. You know, "Kate Moss-drug-addicted, Libertines- lead singer"- Pete Doherty. 

In real life he was even more fucked up than he looks.

We googled, if "the real one" has got this tattoo on his neck. 

And he had.
OMG it was the "REAL ONE". Suddenly, we became really nervous (at least three of us) and wondered if we should go talk to him and ask for a picture. But I just couldn't. Because I have Libertines and Babyshambles-songs on my iPod. I couldn't. Impossible. Luckily, my courageous friend (love you for doing this FOREVER) who wasn't able to pronounce his name properly btw, could approach him /Thank you sooo much, Thea) and so we got this pic :) .


It was not much about him as a person or as a "VIP". It was much more about having the courage to speak to him and feeling like something special meeting "someone special". Although he isn't. He's rather fucked up. But we all knew this. At least he has a new girlfriend. Maybe she... okay, I'll stop speculating here.

I'd preferably move on to SATURDAY.  Christmas shopping update: I got ALL of the presents, finally... I am not revealig my secrets here so... Pssschht! We went shopping in a big mall, "Le Millénaire" outside the city centre. It was not bad. Really. And we got Subway gift coupons - that was awesome!

what I felt like

It's not THAT ugly... (compared to "Les Halles")

Saturday night was all about getting drunk and dancing and flirting and talking (for those who have boyfriends out there) in the "social club". Not very big, but very cool. And I have to admit, the music was more like a agreable background sound to me than the "main experience" of this "soirée" (like French people say it - Yeah, I'm fancy).

On SUNDAY, I dreamed that I slept until 4 pm. Fortunately that wasn't the case, or I would have missed our "Wichteln" (=to play secret santa) with "the guurrls". Which would have been a pity! Because it was sooo cute and we all were happy about our little presents.:) In reality, I woke up the first time at 9:30 and was actually so surprised that I fell asleep again until I got myself out of bed at 1 pm. ;) 

Lesson I've learnt: Never miss your 8 hours of beauty sleep, especially when you got wasted last night.


And the ultimate resolution of this weekend is: 

I WANT MORE OF THIS

I'ts not as easy as this in real life. You have to be a pro (like me).

PS: The bowling was also not bad, because I won and got like 3 strikes which never happened before so be proud of me and conserve and hallow this moment because it will never ever reoccur. Peace out.





















*Why the 2nd best? Because the weekend before was the best. My "He's like my best guy friend and we can talk about everything and we stay up all night"-friend visited and we took a billion selfies and went to a video game exhibition and stuff like that, so... That's why you can clearly see, I have to assign priorities. It's hard to compare, really. 

Getting Ready for Christmas

Just in time, on the 1th of December 2013 (can't believe that the year is almost over :O), I decided to bring on some Christmas mood in here. 

*turns on "Jingle Bells*

No, I'm kidding. But how do you get into that "Christmas Feeling" everyone is talking about when you're about 604 kilometres away from home and your friends and family are scattered across the world ? (like sugar sprinkles on a christmas cookie, badum tss!)
By the way,

Christmas: Level Over 9000

Step 1: Making Christmas cookies

It sounds easier than it is in real life. Just to get together all of the ingredients is a challenge. You'r lookig for baking powder? It's called "Levure chémicale". Don't be so silly mistaking "Levure boulangère" to be baking powder. But seriously, who could be that dumb? - Me. For all those "non-pros" in the world of French supermarkets (like me): Levure boulangère is yeast. 
And when you finally found all the ingredients, you have to struggle to put them into "one thing" without the kitchen utensils every mother has at home. Let's talk about measuring things without a scale or a measuring cup. (I used a table from the internet in which the values are converted to e.g."15 spoons full of sugar", to be honest)
My tip: Don't panic, if you don't find all the ingredients that are in the recipe (sugar, eggs and flour should be found), try to replace them if possible with things you find. My example: I took chocolate coating instead of hazelnut. 

I'm still not 100% satisfied with my decision, but who cares they look good, don't they?

Step 2: Decoration needed

Yep, back to the good old standards. Do some handicraft work with some coloured paper and cotton, and you get fancy little Santa Clauses, stars, snow flakes or Christmas trees. ("The Perks of working in a kindergarten"). 

Looking outside my window gets you into Christmas mood

Step 3: Watching the decoration others made

No further explanations needed. Just walk around the city and try to find some decoration that doesn't kill your eyesight because it's SO SHINY and isn't corny as hell. I know, it's hard, but there will be....anywhere. Avoid going on the Christmas market at "Champs Elysées", try to find smaller, local ones. Today, we visited one in "the ghetto" Pré-Saint-Gervais and it was pretty cute. With all the handi-crafted stuff and the little kids and the music. (The only thing, it was inside a market hall what kinda killed the atmosphere, and there was this terrible fish smell all over the place).

Even in the ghetto, there's Christmas feeling... ;)

Step 4: Christmas presents!

I don't have any by now. That's all there is to say. AHHHH! 

Step 5: Don't worry too much about it

Suddenly, while writing about it, I get this feeling that the idea of Christmas is just something we invented. Maybe to have some days off and celebrate, to offer each other presents and strengthen the economy with it. 

But after all, is it that bad, even if Jesus wasn't born 24th or 25th of December? Or if he never actually lived? I don't think so.
Because, what is bad about a celebration of love, the worship of family and being together and decorating everything nicely? It brings some light into dark cold winter nights. That's why I concluded...

My theory: Christmas was just made up by some desperate people to make them happier and get over their winter depression in the temperate zone.
Amen.

Nothing about the topic, just some people who were randomly roller blading
 past me when I wanted to cross the road. #Paris (yeah, I use hashtags, but it's ironic)

What would you do?

I randomly stumbled across this youtube channel which is indeed a series on the TV channel ABC in America and which is about morality and acting out moral in public.

There are some actors (they’re not bad) hired by the host of the TV show who act out a controversial scene and try to get reactions. Examples are “The 16y/o female runaway getting picked up by an old male in a diner at the highway” or “transgender teen shopping for prom” or what approached me the most “You can’t be a princess”, in which a mother forbids her son to dress up as a princess for Halloween (or her daughter to dress up as spiderman). People around watch them. And some get involved.

I just loved how this lady reacted.

What impressed me the most were those people who are just doing the right thing. They stand up for the (female/male) bartender who is being sexually harassed. They don’t let the 16-year-old desperate girl leave with this creepy truck driver. They tell little Joci in her spiderman-costume that her muscles look amazing. They give “Lisa” the transgender girl the advice to do “what she feels doing”.  And along the way, they put a smile on your face with their sense of humanity.

And during you watch all these situations you can’t avoid asking yourself the same question:

Man, it’s hard. One the one hand, it’s like those “Psycho tests” in girl magazines:  Which type of girl you are when it comes to flirting? There are 4 answers possible to every question but you figure out in one second which one to pick to be the “cool” or the “shy” one. - I think maybe that’s the point of those tests, encouraging your belief in yourself (or something you want to be like). But well, that’s another story. You can try it out here: http://www.glamour.de/psychotests.

I wanted to talk about the fact that those tests are (mostly) predictable. You know what the “right thing” to answer is. Same applies to all these situations I mentioned. You know you should really say something. Or do something. But will you?

Because, on the other hand, you may think: “It’s not my business” or “She should figure it out by herself”. Maybe, you think one has to make their own experiences and learn from them. But the other half of you knows, that sometimes a person from outside of the family is the best one to help and show e.g. the worried mom in the costume shop that there’s nothing wrong about a little boy wearing a princess dress. Or about the fact that he might be gay. Furthermore, this “finding out what is good or bad for you” might be too late for the runaway when she is raped and dead lying in a roadside ditch.

And maybe, you’re just like me when it comes to standing up for others. You are afraid. You are shy. You ask yourself: “Is this what I think it is? I don’t know anything about him/her, I don’t know the background, I can’t say anything.”  Or, even worse: you say to yourself: “Another one will go for it”.

Like last week in Paris, on my way home, there was this woman on the sidewalk, screaming. “Help me! Help me! He won’t let me go! Leave me alone!”  and a man grabbing her. I was not sure. Which relationship did they have? Was he about to hurt her? He was much younger than her so I concluded he wasn’t her boyfriend or husband. And there was another woman standing by trying to calm her down. And both, the man and the other woman seemed worried about her and caring. And the woman was really desperate, I swear. But she also looked kind of freaked-out to me. I didn’t know: “Is she just some kind of psychopath, is she crazy?” “Is she having a panic attack?” “Or is this man trying to harass her in any kind?” It was hard to decide. It was hard to know, because I have never seen those people before. And what do you do when everything is just too much for you? – Right, you do nothing. You just look, try to evaluate the situation and pass by. And then, it’s to late to turn around.

Is she "just" crazy or actually in danger? (goodtoknow.co.uk)

I guess I should’ve said something. Not that I think it was a serious thing… Just to make sure I wasn’t wrong with my assumption that she had a panic attack and that I couldn’t help (that was the conclusion of my 5-second-evaluation at this time). So what? “Is everything alright?” is never out of place. If she was crazy, they’d just explained it to me. If not, I could have gotten her some help by the police.

But I did nothing. And I’m ashamed of myself. It was: “Another one will go for it” again. And fortunately, “another one” did. A woman behind me stopped by asking the crazy-acting woman “Are you okay, what’s happening?” A question any pedestrian passing by should have asked her.

Looking back, I failed.

About 15 min later, I passed by again and saw that she was with two policemen now, seemingly calmed down and maybe a little more reasonable-looking. I still didn’t know what this was all about, but I felt eased that she was getting help now.

For the next time, something like this will happen to me, I resolve to stand up. I don’t want to have in mind that I can be blamed of doing nothing against a bad thing happening in front of my eyes. You would want to have someone around “doing something” if you were in one of these situations, wouldn’t you? And I hope, I will also success one day, doing something against the bad things people do to me. 

And by the way, now I remember who brought me across this show and this topic. My new youtube addiction (aand subscription) Anna Akana who made a really good video about how she is dealing with sexual harassment:

And oh man, I love her leggins. They made me reconsider all of my hatred against "leggins as a replacement for actual pants". She has such a big collection of "Lord of the Rings", all types of comics and even Doctor Who-leggins. But, I'm not sure if I'd go for them in real life. So...

What would you do?

Paris: What to do on rainy days 1.0*

Paris + Sunshine = A hundred times better 

But sometimes, you can't choose, and it doesn't help to curse the weather gods or your boss, it just rains.

There are tons of museums (and exhibitions) in Paris worth a visit. My personal favourite (foremost, because it's right around the corner) is the "Centre Pompidou". Interesting temporal exhibtions of talented artists (like the one of pop art icon Roy Lichtenstein which has just ended on the 4th of November) complete the permanent exhibitions and the PBI (Public Library of Information; I mentioned the queuing in front of it) with its enormous collection of media. 

The best: Like all state-owned museums it's free for members of the European Union until the age of 26. 

So if you don't like it: "Pas grave" (no problem/ don't worry). The same applies to the world famous Louvre where you can admire .... a big crowd of tourists trying to take of photo of the most celebrated smile in the world. But if you are interested in Arts of the Renaissance, the enlightment and all other ages, the "Louvre" is a place to spend more than just a day (I'm sorry, I'm a philistine - I only like modern art). 

My tip: Go downstairs in the basement, there are nice, well-planned exhibitions which aren't as crowded as the popular ones. And enter the museum through the "metro entry" (station: M° Palais Royal - Musée du Louvre ). Bring a credit card to avoid queuing, because there are ticket machines nowadays.

And these are only two of the possible museums you could visit. Maybe, you have enough money to relax in a café with good heating and good coffee. If this is the case, don't wait to do it (but take at least 3-5€ into account for a coffee - Damn it, but this is Paris!).  

But it wouldn't be me talking, if there wasn't a "Forever Alone"-alternative. Especially for days when you have to go to work in the morning and have only the afternoon left for activities (and to relax). So I'm just drinking tea, writing birthday postcards to my friend in Australia and my mum in Germany, cuddling with a blanket (because I don't have a bf) and trying not to have to stand up too often for going out in the cold dark stairway to go pee on the toilet. (This is Paris, too). Which is hard, because of the amount of tea and pineapple juice I'm consuming.

So, I like to spend my rainy days like this:

By Cindy Mangomini, as seen on hellogiggles.com

*Why 1.0? Because it's a rainy day and I just feel more like realxing and not much like writing. So there will be a sequel. Probably. Hopefully.

Paris: 5* Things that are missing

1. Emotions

Yesterday, this random guy smiled at me. I was surprised but happy. Then he continued to talk on the phone. And I realized why I was surprised in the first place: People rarely show real emotions on the street and "in the outside world" like on public transport. I don't think it's very different from the cities I visited in Germany, but I find it sad. But right after that, I find myself pulling a long face in the metro just hoping to be ignored by everyone. Double standards? 
I'm sorry.

My theory: Fully applying song lyrics: "Die Stadt ist ne WG ohne Gemeinschaftsgeist." (=The city is like a flat share without team spirit) - Jede Stadt by Clueso

But sometimes life is just like: Take this rainbow, you look sad

2. Open-mindedness

Sometimes I imagine how the world would be if everyone was running around with signs showing your thoughts and feelings. Many "Parisiens" would have a sign saying: "I think I'm better than you" hanging on a wire around their neck. I guess I'd go for "Why do they stare at me this way? Do I still have the sauce from lunch in my face?". 
Sometimes you just want to socialize. But noone else around you does. I thought it was a stereotype of the Germans to be distant and cool to strangers...

My first theory: There's in fact  a sign on my forehead saying: "Don't talk to me, I'm GERMAN". But unfortunately, it's invisible for me.
My second theory: Once you've built up the social net around you, you hardly try to get out of it to meet new people. Why should you? It's warm & comfortable in there.

3. Opportunities to speak French

"Bonjour" (until 5 pm, then it turns to "Bonsoir"), "Merci" "pardon" "ça va" "pas de probleme" "désolée" "Bonne journée" "Au revoir" - ce sont les mots les plus utilisés par jour... Oh, I'm sorry I'm speaking French again. :D No, I'm just kidding.

But these words (basically everyone knows) really are the most used ones in day-to-day situations like going to the bakery or the supermarket, bumping into someone on the road or trying to make awkward small-talk with French colleagues or parents in front of the school. The chances to improve my language skills are rare (see 1. and 2.) because it's hard to get in contact with "natives". 

Please talk to me, Amnesty guys!

Story of my life: I'm so desperate, I let fundraisers for UNICEF, Amnesty International or advertisers from Subway approach me, just to be able to answer them in French. 
But hey, I actually met some pretty nice people - "hi Timothée from Amnesty, btw, you're a very nice guy!" even though I never have enough money to donate. Sorry.

4. Important staple food

Gosh, I never thought I would miss German (especially "Schwäbisches") food so hard. Spätzle, Maultaschen, Schnitzel, Dampfnudeln, Milchreis... I'm about to cry when I start thinking about all these delicious things. Okay, just... STOP. THINKING. ABOUT. IT. 

My tip: Open a good German restaurant in Paris - You're going to get rich as fuck!

Hey, Internet! How about: F*ck you? (blog.metanox.de)

5. Time

I don't want to complain about things (even if I do in 1.-4.). Man, I love being here. 
And time just passes too quickly.  I can't believe I've been here for almost three months now! It feels like two weeks... Or a life-time? 
My theory: This doesn't only apply to Paris, but time passes faster when you're happy. In contrast to that, all these annoying, noisy, headache-plus-bad-hair-days won't come to an end. Fuck my life.

It seems like summer vanished in a second.

*Why 5? Because I desperately need a high-five right now.

People are mean

Oh, this life is quite absurd,
we live to hurt and to be hurt.

Tom Klose 

 

"Anne* is such a smart-arse... She thinks she knows it all and you can't say something against her or she starts crying at once. What a crybaby... I don't like her, anyway. So... Do you?"

Why are humans so mean sometimes? Especially kids. When I read this note today (it was adressed to the 9-year-old cutie I'm taking care of while babysitting) I wasn't even shocked. That's actually pretty sad. But I saw notes like this one before. Sometimes adressed to me.
Who didn't?  All these "bitch fights" in school, all these offending slips of paper under the desks and the whispers of insults behind someone's back. 

It's a reapeating process, it happens in every school, every class, every group of people, every friendship, every relationship. People hurt each other. For no particular reason. 

You can just guess: Maybe to feel better themselves. Or maybe to distinguish between people. To show who their friends are and who aren't. Maybe to have a benefit of it. Or maybe just because they "feel like" doing it. Maybe because everyone sometimes "feels like" being mean to someone else. 

But why? When she asked me this question, she was (of course) crying, it's funny, but it was hard to answer. "I thought she was my best friend. Last week she asked me to come with her on vacation.", said Anne*. She was very busy chewing on her stuffed animal, a worn-out monkey called Fips and sobbing along. Her mom and I looked at each other and had no clue. So we just repeated the old answers, parents and adults give you in situations like this.

"Maybe, it was just a bad joke!"
"You should go talk to her and confront her with your feelings."
"She has to realize she's hurting you"
"She doesn't deserve your friendship!"
"You should overthink: A friend doing stuff like that maybe isn't your real friend" ...

And the problem is, it's not so long since I was a child and was in the same situation and said to myself: "What are they talking about? I don't want to realize that she wasn't a real friend, i just want to know why she is so mean to me!!! Why does everyone hate me? Why am I such a loser?".

Suddenly, you realize that you're an adult now, and you still don't know the answer. 
You just have much more experience with being hurt. You figured out who are your "real friends" by sorting the bad ones out. Not without reasons. You had romantic relationships with a bunch of assholes leaving you lonely with ice-cream and a broken heart.
But even after all that, you still have people around you that are hurting you. Sometimes not on purpose. Sometimes even though they love you, because they know you too well and you have an argument. But they still hurt you. And sadly, you hurt them.
Now you're an adult.
So at least you learnt something.
You learnt to manage keeping your feelings under control. 






And to wait for the tears to come at night under the blanket. 






*name changed by the e.d. 

Being Forever Alone

Im Nebel

Seltsam, im Nebel zu wandern! Einsam ist jeder Busch und Stein,

kein Baum sieht den andren, jeder ist allein.

Voll von Freunden war mir die Welt, als noch mein Leben licht war;

Nun, da der Nebel fällt, ist keiner mehr sichtbar.

Wahrlich, keiner ist weise, der nicht das Dunkel kennt,

das unentrinnbar und leise von allen ihn trennt.

Seltsam, im Nebel zu wandern!

Leben ist Einsamsein. Kein Mensch kennt den andern,

jeder ist allein.

Hermann Hesse

Translation

-

There is at least one situation in your life when you begin to wonder if you are „forever alone“.

I had this situation in my life last Thursday. After I finished babysitting I made my way to the “monop’” (Monoprix, read more about it two posts earlier) to buy a week’s stock of pineapple juice. (I checked it out, only franprix has a cheaper one, for 0,79 €, but it tastes like shit – monop’ prize is 1,03 € per liter). 

So I was standing there at the cashier, with 4 “tetrapacks” of pineapple juice and a jam jar waiting for the most awkward dialogue to follow.

Male cashier (about 20, Black, nice smile): “Bonsoir, tu aimes beaucoup le jus d’ananas, toi?”

Me : « …Oui ? » (confused, is he making fun of me ?)

Him : « Oh, moi aussi. C’est trop beau! « 

Me : « Oui. Merci... Bonne Soirée ! »

And then I escaped the shop.

Story of my life. The cashier thinks I’m so desperate he needs to talk to me and I’m too socially awkward to answer anything but « yes ». Conversation skills: Level over 9000

If he wouldn’t have talked to the man queuing before me as to a close friend (he even gave him a handshake) I would have assumed he tried to flirt with me... And what is my reaction?

I AM A MESS. I can’t even communicate properly. If I was an Internet meme I couldn’t even decide between “Forever Alone” and “Socially Awkward Penguin”. I think I’d be both. Or even “Bad Luck Brian” in a female version?

3 essentials to spend my "forever alone"-nights: 
pineapple juice, mousse au chocolat and my laptop

And the fact that I’m asking myself questions like these tops it off and lets everyone (who wasn’t aware of it before) know: I am an Internet person. Sitting alone on my bed / sofa (because my room is too small to have both) watching youtube-videos or series online for hours, checking 9gag, my mails, my facebook, smsvongesternnacht.de and for the worst – look at me: I STARTED TO WRITE A BLOG. That’s forever alone Level ∞. Isn’t it?

It’s not that I don’t like being with other people. I like it. I can talk for hours (with the right communication partners).

I think that’s the problem. I have too many thoughts to share.

I MUST TALK. I’m an extrovert person. You might wonder: How is this possible? How can someone who likes to talk and likes people (in general) can be a forever alone? Go abroad. Alone. You learn to know. 

I don’t want to wallow in self-pity. It’s not that I don’t have friends here. I like the girls from my workplace very much. Mädels, ich hab euch echt alle total gern. But I have the feeling that I disturb them by talking this much. And I don’t want to; I CAN’T share every thought with them I could. And it's more about being "forever alone" in general.

self portrait

When you spend much time alone, you begin to think about things. About yourself.

Some people can't stand this. That's why most humans are going crazy if they are caged in a dark room for quite a time. They can't stand being alone with themselves. They just can't stand to accept being forever alone.

Sometimes I wonder if everyone is forever alone. I guess that’s the truth. 

There are always people to talk to. But they change. An average person replaces his whole circle of friends every seven years. 

Who stays? Family? Isn’t family just a random collection of people with a similar genetic code like yours who tend to build up your personality and life choices in a large part?

Family members die. Or they stop talking to you. Or they just leave. 

At any time, everyone leaves. 

Someone important said once: 

The only friend, the only person who will be around as long as you live – is yourself.

Is this good? Like some kind of "Befriend yourself to be happy in life"- thing?

Or is it bitter? Like: None of my friends or romances will ever stay with me forever. I’m going to die alone in any case.

Or is it just about acceptance: "You can’t stay with me forever, but we can be companions most of the way...?"

I haven’t figured out yet.

All I know is: I am forever alone.

How about you?

Paris: Vélib' Adventures

4 pm on a sunny Friday - You arrive at a vélib' station and you are lucky: There's exactly one bicyle left. Any person living in Paris would try to stop you if they could. But you just put your "carte d'abonné" on the reader and the light flips from green to orange, then back to a flashing green light. You can free the bike from the station. AAAND, it has a flat tyre. -.-

As if this would  happen at ANY time (okay maybe during a hailstorm)

Experienced vélib users know them too well: the one or two "alibi"-bicycles, left-overs of an unheeding user with broken lamps, saddles, flat tyres or a loose chain.

For the people who are asking now: " "Carte d'abonné"? Vélib'? Station? What are you even talking about?": 

"Vélib’ is a large-scale public bicycle sharing system in Paris, France. Launched on 15 July 2007, the system encompasses around 14,000 bicycles and 1,230 bicycle stations,^[1] located across Paris and in some surrounding municipalities, with an average daily ridership of 85,811 in 2011.^[3] The name Vélib' is a portmanteau of the French words vélo (English: "bicycle") and liberté ("freedom")"

Yes, I "wikied" that for you.

A subscription for one year costs about 29€. The first 30min are free. And that's probably the reason why, looking at all these crazy racing people on bikes in Paris, the ones on vélibs are still riding the fastest. 

Only few tourists realize that a vélib subsription for a day is possible and costs about 1,70€ (as much as one ride with the métro). I'd really recommend it because from bicycle lanes you see Paris differently. And furthermore, you can go faster. 

Expect for the bicycles out of order you can complain about the lack of bikes on the "prime times" before and after work (8 am / 4-6 pm). 

And they're ugly. They look kinda "2007", don't they?

Subscribe via Internet: velib.paris.fr/. There are several discounts (e.g. one for students). And you can get your subscription on your PassNavigo

Riding a bike, especially a vélib (because you just don't have the time - so get out of my way, bastards!!!) can be stressful in Paris. But if you aren't busy at the moment not being hit by a bus or a taxi, it can be (almost) pleasant and (SOMETIMES) even stunning. 

This pretty much sums up how every vélib-user feels like (or at least me): 

My best vélib adventure by now: The time I didn't get the bicycle lane configuration in front of "Quai de la Rapée" and the fact that I am not able to balance the vélib between my legs while standing. Result: I end up on the ground.

My opinion: I really love my vélib', as long as it doesn't go too far...

Just hope you get it done in less than 30 minutes...