On: being a tinderslut, different kinds of crushes and true love
(source: urban dictionary)
Crushing on someone feels like walking calmly and ordinary down the road... and suddenly stumbling. That moment when your heart takes a short break, only to stop beating again two seconds after in an uncontrolled manner ("like a jungle drum", as Emilia Torrini would put it).
And this procedure repeats itself over and over again, each time you see that special person. Why am I even trying to explain it? I'm sure, you have experienced this before. Who has not? I mean, Ask Carly Rae Japsen! Ask James Blunt, or come on: ask Taylor Swift! It's not random that so many people wrote songs about that feeling.
Naah, I'm not crushing on someone currently...
Who am I kidding? I'm crushing on literally EVERYONE. I'm crushing on someone right now. AT THE F*CKING MOMENT. My cute "neighbour", the guy from the house on the other side of the court whose window is face to face with mine... But there are differences.
I am, like Tyler Oakley, crushing on literally any guy on the street. But maybe that's not real crushing, let's call this one "one-sec-crush" because you forget them after the subway wagon he was in, passed or after you left the park where you saw him sitting on a bench.
Harder to forget are "Just tonight"s. Not to confuse with meaningless "One Night Stands", these crushes happen at one single evening. It can be the case that you actually meet someone and fall in love with him at first sight (or crush on him at first sight) or that you just (like me) stare at him the whole night.
And NOTHING HAPPENS AT ALL.
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| You should try it Tyler-Oakley-Style. |
The thing is, when you think about it, we're talking about "wasted opportunities" again here. It's the "what could have happened if...". Rather it should be the "at least I tried"... I know it sounds like #foreveralone and #storyofmylife if you put yourself together and talk to that guy or try to dance with him...and then he just rebuffs you. HEY! Pick yourself up from the floor! Or crawl out of the hole you've fallen into. I lend you a hand. Because... been there. Done that.
But I promise you, it feels a lot better than imagining all the things that didn't happen because you didn't try. Not because he rejected you. Understand? (I know it's kind of a messy motivation, but It works for me)
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| "Tinder is like a poké-dex for people" - my cousin |
If you haven't already used it, imagine it like a deck of cards. With some pictures, the name and a short self-description on it. Like I said. It's like "app-i-fied" superficiality. Aaaand it's addictive.
(#tinderslut. Yes, I'm into hashtags right now. Do you know how it feels when irony kind of leads into real use of some words/phrases? Happened to me with YOLO or forever alone. Now with hashtags. I think you could ascribe it to my exorbitant use of twitter these days. Join the fun! Be my 12th follower. )
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| Butterfly-belly. Heartbeat louder than ever. A kiss. (photo by Brassai - current exposition at Hôtel de Ville, Paris) |
The best thing about crushes is this butterfly-feeling you get. This "OMG he texted!!"-feeling, this "look at his profile pic, his smile is gorgeous!", this "I don't want to be with anyone else but you"-feeling. But crushes (even though there are many different types) are different from love. Real love. Dat deep shit. Because crushes are, sorry cute guys around, just superficial.
If you love someone, it is based not only on physical attraction, it's based on trust and acceptance. You accept the quirks and the perks of the person you're with and the relationship you're in. You accept that it can't be rainbows and unicorns and holding hands all the time. But you still love each other and you know that this person is there for you, needs you, will hold you and kiss you. Even when you have a bad breath and didn't wash your hair this morning.
I had true love once. And I want to have it again. I know, as I experience now, I CAN be happy without "a significant other" by my side. But I tasted love, and I want it again.
I don't wanna whine about how great romantic relationships are and how I'm missing my ex-boyfriend. I'm not. I appreciate the time we had together and I loved him. But I don't love him anymore. I'm over it. I just want to say that if you are with someone and you sometimes miss the "crush"-feeling, don't give up the love for it (special advice to one of my friends, yes I'm talking to you, girl!).
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| So that's what you get when you google "subway crush". Not disappointed (There's even a song about it- I'm freaking out!) |
Because a crush is an intense, but in most of the cases, short affair. Sometimes you feel like you won't EVER recover. But you will. To recover from love is harder. Crushes are not good for nothing. They're fun. That's why tinder is fun. That's why hooking up in a club is fun. And sometimes they can lead to love. :) What I find really cute.
I don't (in contrast to my almost Canadian friend) believe in "The One True Love of Life". I believe that there are many possible true loves just waiting around the corner for me... for you, for everyone. I just gotta catch 'em all (Pokémon reference again!) or at least one... You can make it work if you want to.
That's the real difference. To have and keep love is a lot of work.
A crush is like a free pizza. It's delicious, it's tasty, it feels good (when you're hungry) and noone would say no to it, because you don't have to do anything for it.
A relationship is more like cooking everyday for yourself. It's your choice if you make that boring convenience food again or cook a 5-course-meal ;). *wisdom words by Lotta*
Maybe you could also go to KFC, but I think that would stretch the metaphor too far.
I couldn't find an appropriate ending for this post, so I put a nice pic here.
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| I went to a Boy & Bear concert and crushed on the guitar guy. I mean it's always the guitar guy for me. |
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