I'm a draft person. Why? Because I can't finish things. At school I was always good at writing long essays and texts. And it may sound like a super nerd but sometimes my teachers discounted me points in assignments for writing too many pages. I couldn't find an end.
Or I start a thing and never continue. This is one of my greatest weaknesses in combination with my unbelievable impatience.
The absenceof these two features is also the main reason for the fact that I have not published a book yet.
I can't say I didn't write a book yet. The problem is I've never finished one (ok, one, but it was shitty and I was 14).
It's not that the lack of ideas, it's my impossibility of staying with one idea and not constantly changing it or discarding it for another. Sometimes, I hate myself for being that person. But I am that person.
"And I can't change. Even if I tried. Even if I wanted to."
I'm not going to finish those drafts, I know that. I guess, I hope that there is this one draft, waiting for me in the future. That won't be a draft. That will become a real story.
Something with a beginning, a middle and an end and not just one of those three in shattered pieces.
My life is full of drafts. My life is a draft itself, waiting to be continued. In one week, I'm starting University, a whole new chapter in my life. I will be a student again and I can't wait to be one.
But I know especially that fact will make it harder to continue things, like poetry or writing or drawing or other creative stuff but I love doing this nerdy arty weird things and I'm not planning to stop doing them. Or to become this boring kind of a person who is so stuck in work that she forgets about all her drafts. All her not yet finished chapters in word documents on her laptop, all her not yet figured out story lines, novels, songs or blog posts. I once said I was a writer. It's time to truly be one. And not just the girl who never finishes what she's starting.
We all crave for that one moment in the future, when she will finally finish a thing and it will be a good thing. How come I'm speaking of myself in Third-Person now?
I think I...
To be continued
I can't say I didn't write a book yet. The problem is I've never finished one (ok, one, but it was shitty and I was 14).
It's not that the lack of ideas, it's my impossibility of staying with one idea and not constantly changing it or discarding it for another. Sometimes, I hate myself for being that person. But I am that person.
"And I can't change. Even if I tried. Even if I wanted to."
I'm not going to finish those drafts, I know that. I guess, I hope that there is this one draft, waiting for me in the future. That won't be a draft. That will become a real story.
Something with a beginning, a middle and an end and not just one of those three in shattered pieces.
My life is full of drafts. My life is a draft itself, waiting to be continued. In one week, I'm starting University, a whole new chapter in my life. I will be a student again and I can't wait to be one.
But I know especially that fact will make it harder to continue things, like poetry or writing or drawing or other creative stuff but I love doing this nerdy arty weird things and I'm not planning to stop doing them. Or to become this boring kind of a person who is so stuck in work that she forgets about all her drafts. All her not yet finished chapters in word documents on her laptop, all her not yet figured out story lines, novels, songs or blog posts. I once said I was a writer. It's time to truly be one. And not just the girl who never finishes what she's starting.
We all crave for that one moment in the future, when she will finally finish a thing and it will be a good thing. How come I'm speaking of myself in Third-Person now?
I think I...
To be continued
No comments:
Post a Comment