Life Goes On

On: A trip to the past, Film-making, & Diary Headlines

I'm standing there. On a bridge across the Seine again, after all these months. It feels like last year, it smells like last year - but it is now. And my time in Paris is over and gone. Regardless of whether I'm there again or not. 

Everything is like it was, or so similar you hardly find the changes. But still: It's over.

This trip to Paris, these 8 days were not only a rollercoaster of emotions: happy, joyful, disappointed, sad, lonely, hopeful, empty, cozy, excited. 

They were a trip to the past. I accept this, but I still enjoyed every second of it. 

My favourite one. Promenade Plantée, Paris, March 2015

Finally, I've been to Pintes & Frites AGAIN (been there at least 4 times), the newly renovated Picasso Museum (soooo good, honestly), discovered a new bar, celebrated the birthday of my colleague in Kindergarten last year (who was in Paris, too, by chance), rested on the Promenade Plantée, danced into the night in one of my favourite night clubs (SHOWCASE!) under a bridge, met someone new, got excited to see 'The Subways' playing live at Le Trabendo, saw all my lovely girls from the picture of my bedside table again, stayed with my host family and played babysitter again (how I missed it... -.-), bought new books at Shakespeare & Co. (#NEED), ate a lot of cheese, went out eating in a fancy restaurant (with a creepy waiter, though), sat on the borders of the Seine and played Cards Against Humanity.

Doesn't that sound like hell of a trip? (To say it The Subways-like:) Oh Yeah! 

Side note: I'm gonna spread some of the mobile pictures I took randomly in this post, so don't get too distracted. [and: enjoy! ;) ]

Obla Di Obla Da - Life goes on, bra. La-la how life goes on - The Beatles

Life goes on. Here, back in Freiburg, my film project was waiting for me impatiently. Today, on the third day of turning the film, I'm excited about the nice pictures we took and how everything will turn out when we start cutting and montaging on monday! 

And this is what it looks like. The equipment
we got from University is worth 10k €.
Please don't break it - it's on my insurance!

But I too, once again, realize, how much work this is. And how fun it is! I can really see myself there, practically producing and developing movies. Telling stories for a living. This would be a dream coming true! 
It is hard work, it eats up your time. You have to focus but don't get lost in the details, there's still a schedule to follow and a dead line to meet. But in the end, you have your product, the story, the film. You have your creative effort in thing and you can show it to people, let it act on them. How do they perceive it? Can we communicate and discuss it?

Questions and thoughts like these are so interesting & fascinating to me. I want to change people's minds, I want to touch people's views, I want to give them words or pictures to make them wonder. 

Good news ahead: Next week, when we are cutting (and I'm hopefully desperately finishing my politics paper on the clash of civilizations), my best friend comes to visit me! Yeah 3X (quoting Chris Brown 'n' stuff). I'm really really glad to see him. We manage to stay in touch decently. But still, it's different in real life. Hugging and bitch slaps and that kind of stuff... ;)


He goes to (f*cking) San Francisco in August! I will miss him so much, but I'll better work to visit him there or I'm going to kick my own ass. And I'm taking Spanish courses this semester ! (but this is kind of irrelevant at this point...) 
Anyway, he visits me next week and he's going to meet my boyfriend for the first time and we will get drunk together. Long story short: It will be awesome!

If this is how Picasso liked to kiss, I'm worried about his partners...

Like the memories of Paris, the endless whinings about my romances, the sorrows and troubles and joys of my daily life and my wondering about bigger things - I keep them all in my diary.

#lifegoals: Being as cool as Charlotte
from The Subways

side note: This very best friend mentioned was the only person who was ever allowed to read (selected parts) of my diary. Yeah, THAT level of "best-friend-ship"

Here on my blog, too. But there's still some things that I only say to myself. But what's funny, and what I like to share with you (3 other people who read this and future-Lotta, of course, don't forget ya) are the headlines of my entries. 
I always write the exact time, the headline and the date, seperated by commas in the first line of a page.

Examples (translated to English):

20:38 h / I am a lying bitch / 6.8.14
18:01 h / The end. The beginning. / 8.8.14
0:50 h / Guerilla Art & riding my bike / 30.8.14 
1:31 h / Tinder again, being lonely / 21.9.14
1:05 h / new beginning - AGAIN, Freiburg / 12.10.14
0:03 h / Memories of Paris / 13.10.14
4:20 h / new people, Moritz, cafeteria party / 24.10.14
2:08 h / Just Like The Movies / 31.10.14
23:19 h / Independence + crying / 23.11.14
1:04 h / I already miss you - nobody's got time / 19.12.14
15:36 h / Cologne & a new year / 1.1.15
23:51 h / Spontaneous visit! + film production / 26.2.15

... If you'd take stats, you could figure I'm a night owl. And a ordinary girl who kind of cries a lot. (And speaks too loud, but that's another story). I don't know if you're interested in my diary. It seems you kinda are, since you are here, reading this shit. I really love you for doing this, honestly. I love you for caring about my life. You're not obliged to. I love you.

#Lifegoals: Appartment with balcony in Paris

My love for this place never gets old.

I said "Life goes on". And nowhere you can see this clearer than in Paris. 2 months after the terrorist attacks and assassinations, life flows by like ever before. The curfew of going to the park in Kindergarten has ended, finally. You spot graffitis of "JE SUIS CHARLIE" at every corner. And at République people still light candles when it gets dark and draw pens on the statue. But the city never stops moving. It eats people up, incidents get forgotten. Or at least buried under new ones. People have lives. Lives don't stop moving. People don't stop moving, either. It is our mechanism against fear. Against hopelessness, desperation - loneliness. Moving on, going a step further, leaving stuff behind. Lala - Life goes on. 
Sometimes it's easy.
But sometimes it's hard.

There are still people lighting candles every night.
There are still people who care.