FUCK YOUR PREJUDICE I'M A FEMINIST

Suddenly, right after the Sam Pepper incident the internet was full of videos about sexual assault. There were so many people that called him out (e.g. Laci Green). And there appeared many  girls and women who were sharing their stories about their personal experiences with sexual assault and harassment. They were called "attention whores" and I really don't know how many of them are but I hope none. I hope that they were honest and just to ashamed to talk about what happened to them in public before others spoke up and encouraged them.

I am so lucky that nothing like this ever happened to me. But I am female (obviously). 
And even in a Western, enlighted, "equal" society like ours in Germany, Europe, I don't feel safe. I walk home alone and I am afraid of rapists, of assault, of someone trying to take advantage of me. Why?

What is this fucked up world where you can't feel safe? Where several men rape a student in a bus in India, or a girl is raped in my hometown or a "jogger" jumps out of the bush and touches women who walk their dogs. I live in a country where only about 8% of the reported/denounced offenders are charged for their actions. 

It says: Excoriate Rape! The black figures are the rapists,
the light pink ones are the reported ones,
the darker pink are the verdicted/charged rapists.
I'm always shocked when I see this.

I don't only think these people are mentally ill. They are. But at the same time, I think the problem lies in society - in our values and beliefs. 

That make some men think that it is okay to behave like they behave.
It starts with feeling unsafe at night , catcalling on the street (literally EVERY girl experiences this regularly), guys touching you or grabbing you when you are out dancing or on public transport. It's not okay. 

Watch this video from buzzfeed in which they imagined catcalling with swapped roles.

The list goes on. Sexual harrassment in the form of words or touching you inappropriately. A guy who forces his girlfriend to have sex even if she doesn't want to. Any kind of sexual action without mutual consent. Men who rape women, girls, children. Who, if they dont kill them, leave emotional scars and mental issues to the victim that won't heal a life-time. 

I support this new wave of feminism that came with the youtube scandal and I don't think it is bad. Why do I have to defend myself for being a feminist?

In my studies I've got a clue why feminism (after the high in the 80s) started to become uncool.
The movement split up in different groups. Like in any political movement, there were extreme forms of feminism who came to the conclusion that men are the source of all evil. And as a result "ALL MEN ARE BAD". These are the feminists who are called out to be men-hating lesbians (often also seen as aggressive, not feminine and assexual). 

Victim-blaming is a severe problem
of sexual assault.
(experienceproject.com)

Other split-ups were women who said: "We achieved euality in law, our work here is done. We now can get back to being feminine and show in wearing pink and flowers and cooking that we're proud of being women". The great split-up and the massive appearance of the first split-up group in public brought a negative image to the movement of feminism, which was in the first place (as you can look up in the dictionary, a movement to achieve the equality of sexes and not to benefit one gender over another). 

Equality is fine. Isn't it? I don't hate men.
I just hate patriarchal men who think it is their birth right to dominate over women. In the work place, at home, in sexual situations - anywhere. These men are assholes. I hate assholes.

I can say, that none of my male friends is an asshole like that. I'm happy to say that. But these men still exist. And what I'm trying to force here is to get feminism back into discourse. I like that new wave, keep that going, talk about feminism again!
It's not alright and okay now, because the laws do not keep their promises. There is no equality in payment, in leading positions in jobs, in the families and there's no equality in school.

When your teacher still tells you: "You shouldn't do computer science, because you're a girl." Or "you can't play football, because boys are better at it." Or "you shouldn't take French because as a boy, you would sound "gay" and girlish speaking it". And "don't do the ballet dancing class because it would look ridiculous!"

Stop it guys! Overthink your prejudice and the things you repeat parrot-fashion without reflecting them. Be against gender roles and against feminism! Why has this woman in the parfume ad has to be naked? Why do girls have to love cooking and puppets and pink? Why can't boys be emotional, talk about their feelings and cry? Why is it special to be a female in politics or natural sciences? 
OVERTHINK! Everyone gains from it. Expect rapists and patriarchal assholes. 

But I think I'm fine with that. 










sources & further reading:

• https://www.frauen-gegen-gewalt.de/
• Simon During: "Feminism's Aftermath: Gender Today" out of Cultural Studies: A Critical Introduction
• Allan G. Johnson: "Patriarchy." out of Race, Class, Gender in the US 
• a interesting article on female movie characters in the New York Times
• Youtube: Laci Green, Charlie McDonnell, BuzzFeed, Bree Essrig
• A beautiful video about marriage/relationships and feminism by ThisBeDottie 

What Makes Me Happy

Since I haven't written a new entry in a while, I thought I'm gonna try today. 
I was inspired by this video by soulpancake which is an excellent youtube channel trying to make the world a better or at least a happier place. They give street compliments, motivational prep talks and they talk about love, life and gratitude.  In the following video they asked the fungbrothers: "What makes you happy?".

I started to think about things that make ME happy.
Here are a few. And I love the idea of a steady continued "List of Happiness" (maybe I'm starting a new page for that) that I can come back to and smile because reading things that make you happy makes you happy I guess.

What makes me happy

Chocolate - and candy in general. I really and honestly love the people who thought: We should create food that isn't for nourrituring your body, we should create food that is just for enjoying, something sweet and delicious, something wrapped in crinkling metallic foil. 

Or think about desserts! They're great. Who doesn't like desserts? I love them, especially since I read "Jeremy Fink and The Meaning of Life" by Wendy Mass. The title, freely "translated" into German is "Das Leben ist kurz, iss den Nachtisch zuerst!" (Life's short, eat dessert first) - which is actually a quote by Jacques Torres (There you go, learn new things everyday).

Learning new stuff is a thing! I love it! Everyday at University I'm like: 

Especially learning languages is a favourite of mine in learning new stuff. I crave the moment I'm like: Aaaaahh! So there's the connection between this word in German and that word in French/English/whatever... And I love finding new vocabulary in texts and be like: Bitch, please- I know that word ! ;)

Being abroad and travelling make me happy, so I get to use all my language knowledge and broaden it, and on top of it, my horizon. Every journey to another place is a journey to yourself. You learn so much by comparing your culture to another, by seeing that you're just a part of the great wide world. Gosh, I am infected by "Fernweh" (= the contrary to being home sick, the dream of being far away and travel). 

Places make me happy. Like the house I grew up in, my home. How it's always cozy and how it is the essence of my childhood and the feeling of being loved.

Chimney fires are something I don't want to miss in my life. They are amazing. And candles, too. They manage to make a room comfortable, romantic and more like home in a second.

Update from my bedside table. I love books, by the way.

Paris makes me happy. I miss it so much to be there and I'm hoping to go there again in March and visit all the places of my memories from last year.

My best friend's house makes me happy, because it is a place full of funny memories and his smell. 

The cinema makes me happy, the tension when the lights go out, it is still magical after all those years. 

Touching movies make me happy. If they're funny, or if their fascinating plot just thrills me, or if they make me cry or if they make me think - I just love good movies!

Plus: The smell of fresh popcorn is from heaven! 

And  watching series make me happy! "Sherlock" is a series I just discovered that I'm totally in for, I mentioned "Faking It" and "Awkward" before - I'm currently watching the new episodes. I like "New Girl", I love "The Middle", I still find "Desperate Housewives" is gold and don't get me started on "Gossip Girl". "Adventure Time" is lovely, "scrubs" is just PRAISE - series in general are the best! If you don't know any/one of them, check them out - 

this is an order!!! [to make you happy]

SHERLOCK = BEST *-*
(http://www.daserste.de/unterhaltung/film/sherlock/videos/sherlock)

Friends and nice people add to my happiness. Literally ROFL-ing (rolling on the floor laughing) with my friends, having great meaningful or silly conversations about everything or just tickling them - the absolute best! 

Shoutout to the people who are nice and polite in everyday life!

For example the girl who smiled at me at the bus stop, the man who bent down for my change in the queue at the supermarket, the bus driver who greeted me so kindly this morning - shoutout to these people! Sometimes they really make my day.

Cuddling is priceless! :) I love to cuddle all the people I care about. And animals, too. 

And Kissing! Whoever invented this in the first place is my hero! Because everyone does it or did it or has done it or will probably do it in their life time and hopefully enjoy it as much as I do, but basically noone knows why we do it. It's funny and lovely and for me it can be magic. 

"How to combine two topics in a text perfectly" by Lotta
(Roy Liechtenstein - We Rose up slowly...)

Key word Art and "inspiring": Museums make me happy. Exhibitions, artists who have visions, ideas and a whole lot more talent than I have, in creating beautiful or thought provoking sculptures, paintings, films, anything. 

Videos make me happy, like the one by soulpancake about happiness. They inspire me to create things (/art?) on my own. Youtube is an inspiring platform (and also one of the best places for procrastination, by the way). Charlie's videos make me happy or new episodes of Crash Course Psychology :). Basically my whole subscription list. 

Music is a killer. Everyone loves some kind of music. There is music for every mood you can be in. Anger, romantic fantasies, sadness, delight... There's a tune to it. Music lightens up my life. Life without music would just suck, wouldn't it? I love good movie soundtracks. I love chill-out playlists or real rock at concerts. 

I love festivals and the atmosphere there with all the people just enjoying and sharing a moment. I love making music just for the hell of it.

festivals are my favorite! And I forgot sunsets of course. Who doesn't love them???(source: farm4.static.flickr.com)

I could go on and on on this list (and maybe I will, soon).

Like one of the brothers in the video said: if you're in the flow, you just find more and more things that make you happy. And that are worth living for. These are some things that make me happy. And it made me really happy writing them down.

What about you?

Just Like The Movies

On: A lovestory that is too good to be true, and nothing else, just that to be honest

"I didn't feel the fairytale feeling, no. Am I a stupid girl for even dreaming that I could? If it's not like the movies...That's how it should be..."   Katy Perry*

I felt the fairytale feeling. I don't even mind how kitschy this sounds or maybe made-up or out of some chick flick. I want to tell you this little story nontheless. 

So I met this guy. (It always starts like this, doesn't it?) He is young, as I may have mentioned before, but he isn't too young for me, as someone would may argue. He is just right how he is. 
To this day, I've known him for exactly 10 days. And I just fell in love.
Okay, yes I know I distinguish between crush and love and this is not love it's "Verliebtsein" and there is no English equivalent to this feeling, that finds its place right between a crush and love. I have to admit I didn't mention it in my post about these two. 

We met on a Friday night. And it was kind of random. A lovely friend of mine from Paris (who kind of forced me to come here to Freiburg because it's where she's from - and I'm not even the slightest bit of mad) that I got to know in Paris last year invited me. She is studying physics and is, like me, a starter at the university of Freiburg. 

So this is where we first kissed. Lovely, isn't it?

She has some buddies from her physics course and he was one of them. So she inivited me to come with her and her friends (I knew only one of them and I don't like her very much tbh) to a party for to-be-teachers in a place that is in the daylight a canteen for students. 


"We'll meet to drink something at the place of one of the physics-guys, ok?", she asked and neither her nor I did know the consequences of that appointment. The first and sudden consequence was me freezing half an hour in front of a frontdoor (because I didn't dare to go inside the stranger's house on my own) that was in fact the wrong door so if I went inside, that wouldn't have got me any further anyway. 

When they arrived and we finally entered the right frontdoor I was cold as ice. Not from the inside clearly and my heart warmed even more when I met him.

Actually, it was his house that we were going to, to be exact, his room in a flat share. We were like 10 people and most of them on the bed and I remember thinking: Woah, that guy is cute. But that's all. It's not that I saw him and WOOOSH! - recognized that he was, unevitably, the one true and only real love of my life. But hey, beginnings aren't always as epic as they're ought to be. (Just like endings, sadly)

We played drinking games, I had a beer which he opened for me (clichéd I guess). In the game (King's Cup to be precise) there was this rule that noone was allowed to look into the person's eyes who had the ace. For most of the time, he was the one. 
And I asked myself why I had to drink so much. I coulnd't help but looking into his eyes. 
So I drank. 

The time got later and later and the bottles of beer emptier and emptier. So we headed off to the canteen. I was in the group of 4 who got there by bike and he was, too. We had a full bottle of "Joster" (sweet, red-purple-ish liquor that is easy to drink) with us and as we waited for the rest of the group (that got there by train) we tried not to drink it too fast but in fact we did, because we played another game. During the game we talked a bit and I thought: Hey that guy is cool. And he's funny. 

I forgot the most important part of the night, my hat. Not the most important, you're right, but quite neccessary for the following events. We entered and the group (just after the more or less epic reunion in front of the entrance) splitted up again "to go to the rest room" and the wardrobe. I found myself left alone with him and another guy - we started dancing like there was nothing to be ashamed of to "Niggaz in Paris" and "Call Me Maybe". Don't ask.

I asked him: "What do you think? With my hat?" (I placed my hat on my head) "Or without?" (I replaced it quickly) He considered the options for a moment. "With the hat.", he said. "Alright"
- And you don't know how I celebrated myself for buying that shit in the first place, guys. :D
He didn't get my reaction like this (because I kind of acted like I didn't really care), for the worse, he mistook my silence as a part of my disappointment in his choice. 
He was fast to explain, stuttering: "Not that I don't think you aren't cute without your hat. In general, I mean, you are. I just think that with it on, you're even cuter."

Can you please admit that I was
 the cutest hipster on earth that night?

It was by that time that I started to wonder about how maybe this evening would end... I was like: So he thinks I'm cute... That's a base to start from! :D

Bref (=briefly), we kissed. And we danced. And we made out on the couch at 4 am in the morning when all the others were already gone. After that he accompanied me home (via bicycle and I know kids, I'm no shining example because you don't drink and drive - not even a bike). To disappoint all those little perverts among you, nothing "more" happened that night. Nothing more than the sweetest goodnight kiss and some numbers that were exchanged.

You guys know, how stories like this continue, nowadays. Facebook. Whatsapp. And then, on the following sunny Sunday afternoon, a date. I wouldn't call it awkward, just different. Both sober, both a bit more reasonable and trying to be interesting and cool and get to know each other. Overpriced coffee (you can guess where we got it), a walk along the "Dreisam" (not the Seine anymore, I'm sorry, too). A smell of autumn leaves and fresh air. The sun drawing reflexions on his hair, as we talked about family, uni, friends and whatever came to our minds. 

On our walk back to the bikes (he was freaking out about how afraid he was to get his bike stolen again), there was a "Kunsthaus" (= House of Art) that was showing an exhibition, to be more clear, an installation of a London-based artist. What seemed to be random things stolen from the next construction site down the road, spread across an enormous red carpet, were in fact objects of art. And as we were listening to construction noises inside a claustrophobical cabin of wood in the dark, I wondered why he hesistated to kiss me. 
I mean, there's nothing more romantic than a construction site, is there?

Okay, I'm kidding but, to put it in his words, it's not the art that was shitty, it was us that "didn't get it". But it was fun, anyway. It was early evening when we finally arrived back in the city and we were both hungry...so what was more obvious than to grab a bite to eat together before we headed home? We had the "best" Chinese food ever ("Willst du Ham-Ham, bestell bei Yam-Yam!") and a good conversation about art, museums, Paris, movies and more of that kind.

Even though we spent quite a while together that afternoon, I found it hard to say goodbye. There was no kiss. It was, let's say, the most platonic date in the universe, unless you count the 2 minutes I sat on his lap in the exhibition to listen to some headphones together. 
I was happy, but a little confused and a tiny little bit sad because there was this voice repeating "He doesn't like you. He doesn't like you. He doesn't like you..." like a bad advertisement jingle over and over in my head like a broken record.

You may ask: So far, so good. But when does the magic movie part begin? 
Shhh, be patient. 
We texted each other several times last week and I was forcing myself not to text him any free minute because I didn't want to scare him off in any way. 
On Wednesday night I texted him: "Hey what's up?" when I was at a Poetry Slam with two friends. He was like, immediately answering: "I was drinking with a mate and we ended up here at a poetry slam." And I was like: "Oh my god I'm here, too." And the next moment I saw him there next the stairs waving at me from across the room and my head was like: "WTF?" and my heart was like: "ALERT! ALERT! I need to get racing and crazy and stuff!" and I talked to him like it was the most ordinary of all possible scenarios. It was not that I had thought of him and pictured his hair and his cute brown eyes all day long during courses. 

After that encounter, I didn't quite know what to think. Because he acted normal, platonic of course, but quite repelling. He excused himself later on and said he was just puzzled and a bit drunk. 

Hey! Hey! The movie part! Okay, okay, there you go:
On Thursday he texted me and asked what I was up to for tonight. I had planned on driving home that night, straight after uni, finishing at 8 pm. But hey, I said to myself: Doesn't matter if 10 or 8 pm, when I will arrive home, nobody will be awake anyway. So I told him to come over for a while.

After uni (when I looked like a mess) I achieved a new record in racing on my bike (seems like I'm not a role model in traffic situations, I'm sorry), 12 min home, instead of the usual 15-20. I took a shower I brushed my teeth, I put on some music and RRRIING. There he was. Suddenly in my house, my room, on my bed. 
We talked for an hour and had a mixtape humming sweet melodies in the background. 
When the mixtape ended is where things got out of hand. There was another song playing, more loudly, too aggressive and lively to rest sitting on the bed like before. I was like "You can't talk to this" and he was like "Yes, you are supposed to dance to this". He grabbed my hands and we danced. We did a badly executed twist and a even worse tango and digged up our forgotten dance class skills that were poor, tbh. But it was fun. :) And I liked being so close to him, because he smelled so freaking good that I could have died. 

I didn't die, though. And we went on dancing. It came to our minds, that the only thing that was truly missing in our superbe performance was a slow. So I put on the best emotional playlist I have in store

And that is where the movie part really kicks in: As we stand there, calmly swinging like we're on a ship, my head is so close to his heart that I can hear it racing like I was on the bike just an hour ago. I am grinning like an idiot and so is he. We both can't believe that we are in this moment right now. 
We kiss and it is like the top of it all, the perfection of all movie moments similar to this one, but this is real. Suddenly, it feels like all the movies are just copies, mimicked images of this moment, of this feeling that can never be as good as this. Right here. Right now. We smile. We kiss. We smile. We dance. "Lass mich nie mehr los" is on the list. And "Yesterday". We see ourselves reflected in the glass of the window, because it is dark outside. It feels like a lifetime since I was last held by a boy like this. 

He says that it's hard to get this, to cope with this. And: "What is missing for the perfect Hollywood ending is the camera drifting outside the window, away from us, through the darkness - but you can still see us dancing through the windowpane."

"And it's the only window lit in the whole area - so we're the only glowing dot in the dark."











The world is based on randomness. Love is the most random of all things. So love is the highest point of all randomness. And the most beautiful. - me











*and I don't even feel the slightest bit of bad quoting her - hopeless romantic I guess.

Late Lonely Life Advice

On: Dating minors, unhealthily low self-esteem & emotional weaknesses*

Question time: Who do I do this for?

To who am I writing? Or is it just for me, myself and I over and over again? Reading my own posts, ranting about random stuff that happens or happened in my life, travelling back in time when I see those older posts, laughing at myself, crying over it again.

I don't know. Maybe it's just that. A self-purpose of writing stuff down. 

To get it off my mind.

I want to tell you how I feel. Even if you is only future-me and two close friends I'm adressing that follow me on twitter and stalk me because they kinda love me (props to you guys just sayin'). This is kind of a confession. I'm not self-confident.

I like to think about myself as tough, as cool, extrovert, intelligent and controlled.

As creative, funny, kind of cute, interesting and complicated. And my self-esteem is really easily scratched when I have doubts in these features of mine. Or when I think closely about what defines me, what makes me an individual, different from others. This is what identity means basically: The entirety of how we view and perceive ourselves as unique from others. I learned this today in Cultural Studies. But can anyone be unique? I feel like I can't.

I spend an amount of time on thinking and wondering about this kind of stuff that is too damn high. I always tell people to accept themselves, to be who they truly are and not to change for relationship partners, friends or work too much. 

And yet here I am, judging myself, blaming myself for not being liked and appreciated by others. Thinking even about plastic surgery at very very low points in my life - but not for real considering it – because I may be superficial sometimes, but I don’t want to be that kind of person who has a nose job just to be liked by other people. 

Just to “look good” as “good” in the ideal of a fucking Barbie-Doll-society. I don’t have the money in any case. And if I had the money I wouldn’t FUCKING spend it on my face to look prettier!!! Overall, I don’t want to be that kind of person.

And yet there is this little voice in my head sometimes that suggests it, that says mean things like: They’re not going to like you because you’re dumb and ugly and just play pretend to be smart and funny and cute. If you had a better body or a smaller nose, they may do but even then...once they see beyond your façade, they will see that you are none of it. That you are as ordinary as can be. That you are the lamest person in the world, you aren’t good at something in particular, you just write and talk a lot about stuff that only matters to you, selfish prick. And you’re proud of yourself because you have 30 twitter followers. What does that make you? A better person? You are a fucking loser!

And I continue hating myself for being not as talented, not as cool and not as unique as I like myself to be. Hating myself for falling for this boy who is too young for me but I don’t really care and I know I barely know him, I’ve just met him (and this is crazy, but here's my number...) a few days ago but you know my heart and my brain are in different rooms right now. 

My brain sits in the office and reads texts for University all day long and complains why it can’t focus because heart is throwing a big birthday party down the hallway. Chanting jingles like: ¯ I DON’T CARE THAT YOU DON’T KNOW HIM, I DON’T CARE THAT YOU’RE BUSY – YOU ARE INTO HIM NOW– YAY!¯

It’s hard to be not into him, though. He seems intelligent and smart, a little arty, a little weird in a good way, a little childish but not annoying. I simply like the way he talks and the way he looks at things and how he touches his hair every 5 minutes what reminds me of me.

Just for the record: I didn't take his V-card or anything :D

Yeah, he has this messy hair and he’s tall and he is fucking adorable so shut up I know it all. May he be 17, and may I act like Jenna when she fools around with Owen in the new Awkward.-season (Owen is cute, though). To me it doesn’t feel wrong.

It doesn’t really matter because I have this feeling that he doesn’t like me back. Or I don't know. Because I know we kissed one time, but we were both drunk and we didn’t know each other (we don’t really know it now either) it was probably just the moment and he was maybe a little stoned, too. 

I don’t really know. I know just that I can’t stop thinking about him and it’s obviously a crush, nothing serious by now, but it annoys me and it fucks me up that I’m so freaking emotional in that business. WHY? Just why? Why can’t I just chill out and watch what happens next? Like I would advice my friends to do.

I literally have to force myself to stop texting him so he won’t think that I’m clingy and I want that he writes me back because he desires to, not because I urged him by bombarding him with a trillion messages.

I hate the fact that it brings back all my self-doubts like: Has anyone ever really loved me for who I am?  BUT yes, I think there were and there are people who do. And I'm so happy about this.

I am lucky. We're so lucky. And as I write these words a video comes to my mind and I will put it here.

I called this "Life Advice" but what can you really get out of this shit tbh? 

Maybe that sometimes, I am as lonely as you, or even Lonlier Than You. 

Maybe that sometimes I am a mess. Just like everyone else.

*well that sounds fucking depressing. 

Sorry by the way for the unusual amount of f-words in this entry.

50 Facts About me

1. I love books 

Since I've never really counted or kept stats, I don't know how many books I've consumed since I started regularly visiting the library in primary school. What I consider my "record" (and the only time I really counted, is 17 books in 6 weeks (the usual summer holiday period in Germany).

2. I wear the same haircut since 2011& look alarmingly similar

2011 vs. 2014 - But which one is the recent one?

Externally, I've not really changed in the past 3 or 4 years of my life, while on the inside I was undergoing some serious transformations. Part of that is my haircut that more or less stayed the same since 10th grade (not mentioning the 3-month "blonde phase" which was admired only by few). 

3. I have like 5 close friends

4. I cry over books, films & music frequently (Maybe I take them as an excuse)

Tarzan, In Her Shoes and the beginning of Finding Nemo still get me everytime! *sniff*

5. I don't have a favorite book

Out of which you could argue that maybe I'm a bit undecided, especially when you think about the mass of books that I read over the years.

6. I am a hopeless romantic

Self-explanatory. If it isn't to you, please check out this, this or this former posts of mine. 

7. I'm on tinder (and I love it)

8. I don't know what I want to do with my life

Therefore I do "something in the media". 

9. I hate salami and most sausages

BUT YOU'RE GERMAN *gasps*. Yeah, guess I am.

DIE YOU SPROUT OF EVIL! (yep, I googled "salami" for that one)

10. I prefer happiness over money in my job

Therefore I do "something in the media". 

11. I hate pink 

And horses. And glitter. 

12. I am female (Captain Obvious strikes again)

13. I play the guitar 

Badly but at least frequently. Still waiting for that enlighting moment to come, when I can say I am a good guitar player. Aaaand forget singing. Just don't talk about it.

14. I love to doodle

Therefore I do "something in the media". 

15. My favourite colour is yellow

So I basically try to buy everything yellow I see. I don't know why I like it so much, but maybe it reminds me of sunflowers (wow, Lotta that one was so deep), summer days and the light in my childhood bed room when the sun is sinking and it's all a glooming sea of yellow light in there (that was much better, gurl). 

16. I believe in Karma 

Or at least sort of. Like if you do something bad and you step into dog's shit, I'll be around shouting like: THERE YOU GO, ASSHOLE! 

17. My favorite place in the world is in Paris

Look at the sky. Or the water. Or the people. At anything. You'll love it.

18. I had only one serious relationship
That lasted almost exactly 2 and a half years.

19. I'd love to be more confident
When someone's like: Look at you, you're really confident, in thoughts I'm like: " ¯If you don't know me by now... ¯". I know I may be regarded as confident because of 43. but I'm not.

20. I am a bit racist when it comes to relationship partners
I swype asian guys on tinder left all the time. I blame the society and my cultural upbringing for it. Sorry, Xiao!

21. I love languages
And I'm sad that I only can speak three (pretty decent, I guess, but not perfect at all). I want to learn more!

22. I do not believe in God

23. I like to eat uncooked spaghetti
Yeah, I'm a weirdo sometimes. (It helps me concentrate, though) - And I love randomness as you can guess from 22. to 23.

24. I love concerts and festivals

YAS! Finally another instance to put in some of my festival pics!

*dies of overly-emotional fangirling*

    

                                   
                                                    


25. I love series in a High School setting
Faking It, anyone?

26. I eat butter under nutella
Go ahead, judge me. #noregrets

27. I'm the sweet not the salty type

28. Cars and busses make me want to puke
I have a looot of funny stories about vomiting. And only 3 of them have to do with alcohol. The rest is all about travel, skiing, camping and a whole bus who is forced to stop because of 14-year-old me puking out my entrails at the roadside. Lovely.

29. I love rollercoasters
Kind of ironic that I never puked as a result of being on one.

30. I like to be regarded as intelligent
Even if I don't really think I am. But pssst - They still take me for a genius.

31. I find curls attractive
Luke Pritchard (go watch 24.). It's all there is to say.

32. I am jealous in friendships

33. My favorite movie is "Little miss sunshine" 
Mainly because of 15.

34. I am lonely

35. I am a strong woman

36. I am a youtube-addict
Check out my subsription box.

37. Sometimes I have really mean thoughts
Like: "She is too dumb to do that." Or "why can't he just fail the test so I don't have to support his stupid attitude in course all the time?". And after that I feel bad. Or not, depends.

38. In shoe size, body size and almost all superficial features I am "Miss Average"
Like especially one friend points out very often. So I feel average average average. Maybe I am? *starts to have identical crisis*

39. My preferred superpower is flying

I mean his propeller is basically THE SHIT.

I only dreamt about it once (see 50.) but it's still my favorite thing: Imagine you could just be up in the sky with the birds while everyone walks on the road under you and is a snail and you're like...a superhero? I don't know, but I loved the idea since Karlsson vom Dach flew into my life as a child. 

40. I love floral prints on literally EVERYTHING
Uh, how I managed to subtly integrate it in the pictures of 2. Not bad.

41. I am a feminist

42. I'm into indie music

43. I have a loud and rather deep voice for a girl
Why people still mistake me for my brother on the phone sometimes. Sad but true.

44. I like my room messy
But not too much. There is this perfect, Lotta-degree of messy. With not too much dishes to wash but enough books, magazines and clothes lying around to make a room show that someone actually LIVES in there.

45. I can hang hours on the phone/skype
There are various people to proof this to you, including my collab partner in this post. 4 hours recently. Guys. Don't ask. (We ended up discussing the release of J-Law's naked pictures)

My favorite Jutebeutel from Paris.
(selenestudiesabroad.files.wordpress.com)

46. I run around with tote bags a lot (#hipsteryoloswag I guess)
Is this what you call it? I googled it, but it sounds weird. We call it Jutebeutel. (German language course with Lotta)

47. I have a diary and I use it
And surprisingly, I'm not 12 years old.

48. As a child I wanted to be a hair dresser, a teacher or an author

49. I am a "night person" 
Maybe it's because I'm a vampire and just haven't found out yet and I've mistaken my sparkling in the sunlight all these years for glitter make-up...

50. I remember almost all of my dreams (and they're crazy as f*ck)
Like last night I had a pretty messed up dream about being still in school but in a different building with different people. And we had to team up to find something in a maze that was kind of behind the school (but it hadn't been there before, I'm sure). And somewhere in the maze there was a slide for kids which was amazing but we kind of forgot our mission about it. 
- Yep, casual stuff like that.

This is a collaboration. Check out my friend Phlipps' post HERE.

I basically need this in my life. (funkyshirt.co.uk)