Oh, this life is quite absurd,Tom Klose
we live to hurt and to be hurt.
"Anne* is such a smart-arse... She thinks she knows it all and you can't say something against her or she starts crying at once. What a crybaby... I don't like her, anyway. So... Do you?"
Why are humans so mean sometimes? Especially kids. When I read this note today (it was adressed to the 9-year-old cutie I'm taking care of while babysitting) I wasn't even shocked. That's actually pretty sad. But I saw notes like this one before. Sometimes adressed to me.
Who didn't? All these "bitch fights" in school, all these offending slips of paper under the desks and the whispers of insults behind someone's back.
Who didn't? All these "bitch fights" in school, all these offending slips of paper under the desks and the whispers of insults behind someone's back.
It's a reapeating process, it happens in every school, every class, every group of people, every friendship, every relationship. People hurt each other. For no particular reason.
You can just guess: Maybe to feel better themselves. Or maybe to distinguish between people. To show who their friends are and who aren't. Maybe to have a benefit of it. Or maybe just because they "feel like" doing it. Maybe because everyone sometimes "feels like" being mean to someone else.
But why? When she asked me this question, she was (of course) crying, it's funny, but it was hard to answer. "I thought she was my best friend. Last week she asked me to come with her on vacation.", said Anne*. She was very busy chewing on her stuffed animal, a worn-out monkey called Fips and sobbing along. Her mom and I looked at each other and had no clue. So we just repeated the old answers, parents and adults give you in situations like this.
"Maybe, it was just a bad joke!"
"You should go talk to her and confront her with your feelings."
"She has to realize she's hurting you"
"She doesn't deserve your friendship!"
"You should overthink: A friend doing stuff like that maybe isn't your real friend" ...
And the problem is, it's not so long since I was a child and was in the same situation and said to myself: "What are they talking about? I don't want to realize that she wasn't a real friend, i just want to know why she is so mean to me!!! Why does everyone hate me? Why am I such a loser?".
Suddenly, you realize that you're an adult now, and you still don't know the answer.
You just have much more experience with being hurt. You figured out who are your "real friends" by sorting the bad ones out. Not without reasons. You had romantic relationships with a bunch of assholes leaving you lonely with ice-cream and a broken heart.
But even after all that, you still have people around you that are hurting you. Sometimes not on purpose. Sometimes even though they love you, because they know you too well and you have an argument. But they still hurt you. And sadly, you hurt them.
Now you're an adult.
So at least you learnt something.
You learnt to manage keeping your feelings under control.
And to wait for the tears to come at night under the blanket.
*name changed by the e.d.
But why? When she asked me this question, she was (of course) crying, it's funny, but it was hard to answer. "I thought she was my best friend. Last week she asked me to come with her on vacation.", said Anne*. She was very busy chewing on her stuffed animal, a worn-out monkey called Fips and sobbing along. Her mom and I looked at each other and had no clue. So we just repeated the old answers, parents and adults give you in situations like this.
"Maybe, it was just a bad joke!"
"You should go talk to her and confront her with your feelings."
"She has to realize she's hurting you"
"She doesn't deserve your friendship!"
"You should overthink: A friend doing stuff like that maybe isn't your real friend" ...
And the problem is, it's not so long since I was a child and was in the same situation and said to myself: "What are they talking about? I don't want to realize that she wasn't a real friend, i just want to know why she is so mean to me!!! Why does everyone hate me? Why am I such a loser?".
Suddenly, you realize that you're an adult now, and you still don't know the answer.
You just have much more experience with being hurt. You figured out who are your "real friends" by sorting the bad ones out. Not without reasons. You had romantic relationships with a bunch of assholes leaving you lonely with ice-cream and a broken heart.
But even after all that, you still have people around you that are hurting you. Sometimes not on purpose. Sometimes even though they love you, because they know you too well and you have an argument. But they still hurt you. And sadly, you hurt them.
Now you're an adult.
So at least you learnt something.
You learnt to manage keeping your feelings under control.
And to wait for the tears to come at night under the blanket.
*name changed by the e.d.
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