Paris: 6* Things I haven’t figured out yet

1. Why is there ALWAYS an enormous queuing in front of the library?

You sort of get free WIFI there and a number which refers to a proper “computer work place” you’re getting. But why are there like 200 people (no exaggerations this time) waiting every Sunday? 

My theory: You get a free beer for any book you lend. Otherwise, I can’t explain this phenomenon

2.Why does the “Thing you put your hand on” never move as fast as the escalator itself?

Whenever you’re on an escalator in Paris – And I swear, it happens all the time (in malls, libraries and most important metro stations), you just want to go up- or downstairs easing your arm on the handrail of the escalator…

Either downwards - because it moves to slow, or your hand has already reached the top while your feet are still struggling on the middle of the stairs. Seriously, 

My theory: The city wants you to come in contact with other travelers by awkwardly bumping into them from behind on an escalator

3. In which hole are the “Parisiens” hidings on Sundays?

I mean: Seriously, where are you people of Paris? On metro line 1 (which goes from Hôtel de Ville over Louvre, Champs Élysées and Place d’Étoile to la Défense) you can hear any language being spoken – expect for French. Okay, well, if I wasn’t showing around my best friend from Germany this weekend, I’d probably stay in bed the whole day.

My theory: They all had the same idea.

How about visitig the Louvre on a Sunday? - Just DON'T

4. Why aren’t the French able to pronounce English names in English?

Germans speak of the film “Gravity” as Americans. If you hear French people talking about it you might wonder why you never heard of that new film “Graahwiti”. Oh, it’s in cinemas now? Kay, and there’s a guy called “Schorsch Cluny” in it? Never heard of him, sorry.
My theory: They don’t want to.  Anything non-French has to be made French.

How are you supposed to pronounce the name of that film? I guess it's to hard.

Which leads me, in contrast to that, to my number 5...

5. Why aren’t the Hollywood-movies synchronized, but do have stupid French subtitles?

Are there any further explanations necessary? Nope.
My theory: Maybe the government wants to improve the English skills of their people ?

(as referred to in 4.)

The Cafés in Paris are like a entering a different world.

6.How can the people living in Paris always have time for relaxing in a café but running around like fools in the metro?

Maybe they aren’t actually relaxing. In reality they probably just sit there for 2 minutes and you just don’t see them changing their places? That seems very likely to me, because the average citizen of Paris orders an espresso (I predict because of money issues). 
It’s so common here that they even call it “café” in the menu. That ends up pretty crappy for people like me who are positively surprised about the low prize for a coffee and negatively surprised when their tiny espresso finally arrives.
My theory: The metro has a different time dimension than the “vie dans la rue” and the same amount of time is compressed to a shorter period. That’s the reason people always have to run to get anywhere in time.

Work is for boring people, anyways. So why worry about getting there by metro in time?

*Why 6? Because I’ve learnt French in school for 6 years